Carry-on (2024) review
Where have all the Die-Hards gone?
Happy New Years, gang!
Another holiday season in the books. Are we feeling fulfilled? Empty inside? Are we still chasing that infernal next high, or are we content with our lives?
No comment?
Alrighty then. In that case, I’ll make an extremely hard pivot and talk about CARRY-ON, one of Netflix’s recent holiday offerings.
I stumbled upon CARRY-ON on the evening of it’s release early in December and hit play, amused by it’s straight-forward premise.
Taron Egerton plays Ethan, a salt-of-the-earth TSA officer who’s hectic Christmas-eve shift takes a turn for the worse when terrorists announce themselves.
These are not your run-of-the-mill agents of chaos, but facilitators, attempting to smuggle a mysterious package through customs, unabated. What’s worse, they use Ethan’s family prospects as collateral if he refuses to comply.
Unlike the organized ring that hijacked the Nakatomi plaza in DIE HARD, these terrorists keep their antics on the down-low. Preferring anonymity to the pompous grand-standing of one, Hans Gruber.
Of course, movies like these need a central heavy, and CARRY-ON finds one in the always magnificent, Evil Jason Bateman, who will be referred to as such for the duration of this piece.
Taron Egerton should, in a more just world, be a bona-fide movie star. I recall watching ROCKETMAN in a packed, Friday-night theater (in those sweet, heady days pre-covid) and being taken by the explosion of character leaping off the screen.
He has all the charisma of a modern day star. The english wit and physique that would have cemented just about any other young prospect of the 90’s
Egerton is truly a casting agent’s wet dream. He can play the every-man; He can sing and dance; He can convincingly play an American; Egerton can even jive with the best of the fight choreographers in the business, ala THE KINGSMEN.
And yet, a cursory glance of his IMDB will reveal a career marked by a seismic start in films, and then a quick transition into television work. Mostly streaming.
Some of this feels like a symptom of born too late/born too soon. If Egerton were 10 years younger, who’s to say he couldn’t have played Spider-man in the Marvel cinematic universe?
If he were ten years older, could he have slid right into that Chris Hemsworth/Chris Evans slot of name brand presence? Who’s to say.
Let me just say: Taron, I know you’re reading this. I need you to know that, whether it’s the big screen or small, you’ll always have a fan in me. Keep it up.
CARRY-ON, as a film, feels like it’s been screen-tested within an inch of it’s life. It hits all the thriller beats, from the colorful central villain, to the LAPD officers fighting to make sense of the case from the outside, looking in.
The LAX airport is this film’s Nakatomi plaza. A bustling locale that becomes a character all it’s own. A staple in all DIE-HARD clones.
On first watch, this paint-by-numbers design left me cold. CARRY-ON is, without a doubt, a handsomely made feature that’s edited at such a kinetic pace that you’ll be enthused throughout.
However, as someone who seen plenty of films in this genre, one I hold near and dear to my heart, I couldn’t help but make out the nuts and bolts on display.
And yet, and yet…
Christmas week rolled along, and my parents needed something to watch. News broke that CARRY-ON shot up the Netflix charts, becoming one of the top-five most streamed films on the service.
Maybe my folks would enjoy some Evil Jason Bateman.
I fired up CARRY-ON, thinking that this would placate their need for wallpaper content——a movie to put on the background while they scroll on their phones. A trifle.
I was wrong. They were hooked from the first minute. I too, was transfixed on second viewing. Suddenly, all the little details came to life. I started to appreciate the practicality of all the stunts.
As someone who bemoans the state of modern filmmaking, from the over-reliance on CGI to the fakery of sets, music, and sound design, I should have been more astute. I’m kicking myself as I write this.
To be labeled a DIE-HARD clone at one point in time would have registered as a death knell. The formula has certainly been mined for profit: Everyday-man, professional terrorists, Iconic locale.
CARRY-ON is saved by it’s inventive construction. It get’s increasingly silly as the tense, first two-thirds gives way a splashy finally full of explosions and lunacy.
At the fear of sounding like a para-social nitwit, I found Evil Jason Bateman to be the most endearing facet of the movie. He’s clearly reaching for a slice of the Hans Gruber pie, but smartly recedes behind that cold, Bateman veneer.
Fans of the Smartless Podcast are surely familiar with Evil Jason Bateman’s running gag involving Will Arnett, who insists that Bateman is actually an emotionless robot.
This performance feels par for the course.
Sometimes movies are made to be enjoyed in camaraderie. CARRY-ON is one of those creatures. As easy to digest as it is to dispose. Now, the real question: Could this, in time, rise to the level of Christmas classic, in the same vein as DIE-HARD?
Time will tell. Happy New Years, gang. Here’s to more movies, books, and adventures.